


Variations

by DefyingNormalcy



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Sentimental fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8104522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefyingNormalcy/pseuds/DefyingNormalcy
Summary: A bit of indulgent fluff which has been heavily influenced by the gorgeous poem, “Variations On The Word Sleep,” by the brilliant Margaret Atwood. “Tonight had been a good night; long and full to the brim with passion. It was exceedingly rare for Joan to succumb to exhaustion before Vera. It was also exceedingly rare for Joan to allow Vera to do anything in bed other than lay back and indulge in the pleasure that Joan so generously gave to her. Yet both rarities had taken place this evening and Vera found that her cheeks were actually beginning to get sore from smiling so much at the wonderful coincidence occurring after such a brutal day.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks as always to Ifitbelove for her fabulous edits.

xxx 

 

Vera propped herself up on her bent elbow and regarded her bedmate with a gentle smile.  

 

Today had been long and unforgiving. Two prisoners had gotten into a brutal fist fight and four more had attempted to join in. They’d been short staffed, so Joan had been forced to physically step in herself to break up the fight. Unfortunately one of the women had attempted to tackle her, sending Joan shoulder-first into the nearest wall and sending Vera into a near-panic attack. Of course, she hadn’t been able to react the way that she wanted to which would have been to rush to Joan’s side and hold her close. All she could do was eye Joan worriedly as their insistent nurse rushed out of Medical to gently persuade Joan to come by for a mandatory check-up. 

 

Tonight had been a good night; long and full to the brim with passion. It was exceedingly rare for Joan to succumb to exhaustion before Vera. It was also exceedingly rare for Joan to allow Vera to do anything in bed other than lay back and indulge in the pleasure that Joan so generously gave to her. Yet both rarities had taken place this evening and Vera found that her cheeks were actually beginning to get sore from smiling so much at the wonderful coincidence occurring after such a brutal day.  

 

Joan was laying on her back, her black and silver hair was fanned out against the crisp white pillowcase. Her lips were slightly parted and warm puffs of breath would pass through them every few seconds. The lines around her eyes were softened considerably and her jaw was slack with slumber. Her thick brows framed her forehead, which was free of the usual crinkle of concentration that she so frequently wore. 

 

Vera’s eyes travelled lower still to the pale skin of her neck. She could see the even strumming of Joan’s pulse beneath the sturdy muscles and sinew. She knew the skin there to be exceptionally soft and sensitive to Vera’s touch. Joan would never admit to it, but she always came the hardest with Vera’s mouth devouring the side of her neck whilst her hand firmly stroked Joan’s clit. Vera didn’t need her lover to admit it; the look on Joan’s face and the feel of her body going rigid with pleasure as her orgasm swept her away was enough for Vera. In fact, watching Joan come apart was almost just as good as Vera’s own orgasms, of which Joan had given her  _ plenty _ . Daring fingers reached out to brush back a lock of hair which obstructed the creamy skin from Vera’s view. She felt the warmth of Joan’s skin pull her to it like a magnet and gently, oh so gently, she let them glide over the exposed skin to tease at the red mark that Vera had left not long ago. It would not bruise, but it would make Joan smile the next morning as she buttoned up the collar of her shirt over it. She would carry it, and by extension, Vera, with her all day in secret; Vera hoped that it might take on the properties of an invisible shield and protect Joan against any further harm. 

 

Joan shifted slightly, a soft grunt escaped her lips as her legs twitched and her head lolled to the side of her pillow furthest from Vera. Joan’s hand rested on the Vera’s leg which lay across her; it squeezed the firm muscle unconsciously as she settled against the mattress once more. Even while in a sex-induced coma, Joan never let Vera out of her sight. 

 

Vera let out a content sigh. God she loved this woman. 

 

Feeling bolder still, Vera bent her head to caress her lips against Joan’s neck. She inhaled deeply and detected the faint smell of sex and dried sweat. She let herself indulge in a few lingering kisses against Joan’s neck, knowing that her actions would eventually wake her lover. As much as she was enjoying the rare privilege of watching over Joan as she slept, Vera found herself suddenly  _ wanting _ Joan to awaken. She wanted to see those dark eyes sparkle knowingly at her. She wanted to hear that rich tone of her voice chastise her for being up at such an hour. She wanted strong arms and sturdy weight to roll and pin Vera to the bed and she wanted soft lips against hers. 

 

As she hoped it would, her actions caused Joan to stir. Joan’s eyes slowly opened, blinked and then settled on Vera; even in the darkness of their bedroom Vera could detect the unmistakable twinkle in them. 

 

“Vera,” Joan grunted, her voice was delightfully husky, “go to sleep.” Joan rolled over onto her side to face Vera. The hand that had been connected to Vera’s thigh slipped under her pillow while the other readjusted Vera’s leg higher on her hip before resting overtop Vera’s slight waist. 

 

Vera dropped her head down to her pillow and wiggled closer to Joan so that she could rub her nose against Joan’s cheek. “Can’t sleep. You’re too beautiful. It’s distracting.” 

 

Joan snorted lightly through her nose and the hand at Vera’s waist pulled her closer. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she murmured against Vera’s shoulder. 

 

Vera nuzzled the skin of Joan’s neck again. “Shhh. You will put up with my compliments.” She worried the skin there with her teeth and delighted at the subtle shudder it produced from Joan. 

 

Joan pulled back slightly to raise an eyebrow and purse her lips at Vera. It did absolutely nothing to dampen Vera’s growing affection for the older woman. 

 

Vera tilted her head upwards to rub her lips against Joan’s handsome chin, silently beckoning Joan’s lips to join hers. 

 

Never able to deny Vera, well, anything really, Joan rolled them both over so that she was now settled on top of Vera. Vera’s leg hooked around Joan’s waist and the sole of her foot tickled Joan’s lower back. She kissed Vera deeply and with a passion that betrayed the exhaustion in her body. She both heard and felt Vera’s delicate sigh against her lips and she wished, not for the first time, that the energy of her youth could return to her. She wanted to keep kissing Vera until her petite body squirmed under her. She wanted to lower her mouth to swallow up Vera’s perfect breasts, one by one. She wanted to run her tongue along the firm, flat stomach that lead to boney hips. She wanted to spend an eternity buried in the soft wetness of Vera’s sex until she knew nothing but the taste and feel of her lover. She wanted to abandon the world and spend the rest of her days unabashedly loving Vera. 

 

But Joan, was of course, a realist; she knew that no matter how sincerely she wanted these things, that didn’t entitle her to them. They had lives, dangerous and demanding careers, outside the sanctuary of this bed. They worked long hours which were spent pretending that they did not reside inside of one another’s hearts. They each had few social companions outside of one another but even these select individuals could not know about their love, lest their superiors, their fellow officers, and most dangerously, the prisoners find out. But Joan didn’t begrudge the confines with which she was allowed to love Vera within, rather, they made the moments that she  _ did  _ get to spend openly loving Vera all the more beautiful for their rarity. 

 

Vera began to giggle against her mouth and Joan pulled her lips away to regard her with wonder. “Something amusing?” she asked. 

 

Vera shook her head and smiled up at Joan in a way that made Joan’s heart throb. Vera looked past Joan’s idiosyncrasies, past her sins, past her less than appealing personality traits, past her broken pieces which might never be fully whole, and saw something within her that Joan had never been able to see on her own. Vera saw a woman worthy of love, a woman who could and would be loved, in defiance of her own stubbornness and fear.

 

Joan kissed the tip of Vera’s nose and leaned down to nuzzle the younger woman’s cheek. It was unnerving, how much passion resided in this small body, even more so that it was all for her. No one had ever looked at her like Vera did. Before Vera, Joan didn’t even think it possible for lovers to share such deeply intimate looks. Joan knew that she was not an easy person to live with, even less so to love. But Vera’s patience and sweetness chipped away at her armour bit by bit and Joan hoped that one day, she might be able to reward all of Vera’s patience and all of Vera’s sweet, undemanding love with the gift of her complete vulnerability. It would be hard-won, it might torment Joan to unveil it, but she was willing to do it for Vera. For them. 

 

“Try and go to sleep?” Joan requested as she kissed Vera’s cheek and chin. “Tomorrow will be a long day,” she sighed. Vera was rostered for a double shift, meaning that Joan would spend tomorrow evening alone. Whereas she once looked forward to solitude, Joan now found herself dreading it. Her home felt empty without the sound of Vera’s soft humming, her delicately floral scent which lingered in every room, and her warm kisses which she pressed against the side of Joan’s cheek at every chance she got; they too lingered on Joan’s skin. 

 

“I know,” Vera pouted, “you’ll be in bed by the time I get home. You’ll be at work by the time I wake up.” Vera pressed her lips against Joan’s. “Gonna miss you.” She yawned and then blushed apologetically. 

 

Joan rolled off of Vera and guided the younger woman onto her side with her back flat against Joan’s front. Their legs, of amusingly variant lengths, tangled together and Joan’s arm came around to wrap around Vera’s middle. “Come now, I can’t have my deputy falling asleep on the job,” she said sternly, but the tenderness of the kisses which she pressed against Vera’s shoulder belied her tone. 

 

Vera giggled again. “Of course not Governor,” she said, yawning once more. 

 

Joan’s lips continued their movements against Vera’s shoulder. She felt Vera’s body begin to relax under her ministrations and she felt Vera’s breathing settle into a familiar rhythm. Joan peered over Vera’s shoulder to regard her sleeping lover; Vera’s hair curled around the pillow and her lips wore a hint of a smile. She looked years younger and completely carefree, so much so that it wasn’t difficult for Joan to imagine Vera as a child, full of laughter and girlish charm. How Vera had managed to retain her gentleness in a world this cold and unrelenting was beyond Joan, yet she was grateful for it each night that she climbed into bed with her lover and found herself being swept away by Vera’s affection for her. 

 

Today had been tough on Vera. Joan had felt her panic as keenly as she’d felt the sturdiness of the wall that she had been thrown against. Normally Joan would have outright refused to indulge the annoying nurse who had run over to her in a huff, but Joan had locked eyes with Vera as she steadied herself on her feet again, and had nearly been knocked over again by the love and worry in Vera’s eyes. Begrudgingly, she’d submitted herself to a check-up, knowing that a clean bill of health would at least calm Vera’s delicate heart. She had gladly accepted the uncomfortable inconvenience to make Vera happy. 

 

Tonight had been a revelation for herself. Moments after they each pulled up to the house in their respective cars, Vera was roughly unlocking the door and grabbing Joan by the arm to lead them inside. They hadn’t even made it to their bed the first time. Vera had been unable to wait and had guided them, stumbling, kissing, groping, until they fell back against the couch to tear at one another’s clothing. Making love had initially been difficult for Joan, she’d spent the first 52 years of her life not knowing the touch of another woman. Until Vera. While her lover’s sexual history had been quite short as well, she’d at least experienced  _ something _ prior to Joan. Ironically, it was the only part of their lives together where Vera had the upper hand. At the start of their romance, Joan had found it difficult to allow Vera to even see her fully naked. Slowly, and after months of Vera’s gentle patience and unwavering love, Joan had begun to give into the desire to let Vera not only see her, but to touch her as well. 

 

Tonight had been the first time in their seven month love affair that Joan had completely given herself over to Vera, had allowed her to dictate the terms of their lovemaking from start to finish. Afterwards, Vera had held her close with tears in her beautiful blue eyes and whispered her love for Joan over and over. 

 

Now, Joan held her sleeping wonder in her arms and found herself silently thanking the perfect storm which had brought them together. Vera’s lips parted and she let out a quiet sigh, her hand fell onto the mattress from where it had been resting overtop Joan’s. Joan pulled Vera impossibly closer to her to make up for the loss of contact and she bent her head once again to run her lips along Vera’s silken skin. 

 

Through the half-shrouded window facing the foot of their bed, Joan could see the sun rising. The heat of the morning star began to permeate the room and Joan resigned to remain awake so that she could watch its rays kiss Vera’s golden skin. When light filled their room completely, Vera would groan and turn over to bury her face in Joan’s neck. Her arms and legs would wrap themselves around Joan like a predator encircling their prey and Joan would happily submit herself to Vera’s tenderness. 

  
With renewed purpose, Joan smiled. She would watch over Vera. Always. 

**Author's Note:**

> Variations On The Word Sleep
> 
> I would like to watch you sleeping,  
> which may not happen.  
> I would like to watch you,  
> sleeping. I would like to sleep  
> with you, to enter  
> your sleep as its smooth dark wave  
> slides over my head
> 
> and walk with you through that lucent  
> wavering forest of bluegreen leaves  
> with its watery sun & three moons  
> towards the cave where you must descend,  
> towards your worst fear
> 
> I would like to give you the silver  
> branch, the small white flower, the one  
> word that will protect you  
> from the grief at the center  
> of your dream, from the grief  
> at the center. I would like to follow  
> you up the long stairway  
> again & become  
> the boat that would row you back  
> carefully, a flame  
> in two cupped hands  
> to where your body lies  
> beside me, and you enter  
> it as easily as breathing in
> 
> I would like to be the air  
> that inhabits you for a moment  
> only. I would like to be that unnoticed  
> & that necessary.
> 
> \- Margaret Atwood


End file.
